I suppose I have been reminiscing a lot these past weeks and the thoughts have brought both smiles and quite a few tears.

I’m sure that sometime in the past twenty some years, I have mentioned I was an only child. But, I don’t think I ever felt alone because mother came from a family of ten and I was blessed with twenty cousins.

I also think I was doubly blessed because it was a family that enjoyed each other and stayed close to each other. They shared meals, shared card games, shared holidays, shared homes when homes of others were flooded…they just loved each other and it was evident in their lives.

I said there were twenty of us cousins but with the recent death of another cousin, we now number only nine.

We don’t get together as much as we used to but there is a bond that brings us together when the ‘need’ arrives and a funeral certainly means we need ‘help’ and ‘hope’ and I think it comes from those we love.

Now as I look at those remaining, it becomes apparent that life is moving very rapidly and I find myself thinking about the changes the next few years will bring.

I am great grandma by now, but I remember my childhood, my school days, my working experience, falling in love, and getting married. As an only child, I was happy to marry someone with brothers and sisters so I could become an ‘aunt’ and my children would have cousins.

Our first year of marriage, I continued working while Bill served in the army in Korea. Then we began a life as ‘farmers’. Not my choice, but it worked out wonderfully well. I will say the first years were difficult. We worked very hard, lived very frugally for some years, but life was good. We had a family, learned to live with the loss of loved ones, we watched our children become adults, marry, have children of their own and now as they join the ranks of grandparents.

I see my two daughters as little girls. One a ‘girly’ girl who loved the indoors and the other ‘daddy’s girl’ who loved sports and being outside with her father. I recall the first day the oldest went to school on the school bus. We lived outside Edwardsville and she was to attend Lincoln school. The bus would leave her off but she’d have to cross Main St. The first day I watched her get on the bus and then followed in the car to see if she understood how to cross a street.

She went to college but before she finished, she became engaged and her dad and I agreed to her marriage with the ultimatum that if she got married, she must finish her degree. She kept her promise. She has had a career in her field and we were both proud of her many achievements.

My youngest daughter loved sports and while in high school, girl’s sports became more popular and she played basketball, tennis, ran track, and, I think played volleyball. She even played on a women’s basketball team during her nurse’s training.

Nursing was her goal and she achieved it and is an oncology nurse in Chicago. She had two illnesses that frightened us. First when expecting her second child, she was diagnosed with systemic lupus. Her little girl was born prematurely but today both are well and healthy. She also had a bout with cancer and has also weathered that storm.

Both daughters have two children. Those little ones enriched the lives of Bill and I. These children, who are now adults, brought joy and excitement to a life that hadn’t included little ones for sometime.

We watched little babies take their first steps, watched as they began school, went to grandparent’s day, attended sporting events, graduations and weddings. We’ve watched little ones grow into teenagers who seemed to have become centered on ‘self’ mature into caring young adults.

Bill and I were blessed to share over 51 years of married life before his heart failed and he left his loved ones behind. I still miss him after all these years, but know that God had other plans and Bill’s life had become a burden. But somehow life changed when he left me alone, but the love we shared lives on in my heart.

Now the years have rolled on and my grandchildren are all grown and two have children of their own and another will become a parent the first of next year.

Several weeks ago at the funeral of one of my cousins, I found myself looking about and thinking how blessed we all were with family that ‘loved and cared’ for each other. I know that the coming years will find this close knit family group dwindle but I also know that in such an ever changing society, we have been truly blessed…maybe not with some of the worldly treasures but with the most important thing of all…love.

I still enjoy cooking a Sunday meal. Whoever in my immediate family that can come is welcome. It makes me smile to watch the little ones. It’s been years since I colored, built with blocks, blew bubbles, and played ‘imaginary’ games. Their hugs and kisses warm my heart and give me ‘hope’ for the future.

I may be ‘old’ and not as intelligent as most, and surely not as ‘up’ on the modern technology, but one thing I have that can’t be taken from me, but can be shared with others, remains. That is the gift of ‘family’ and perhaps the most precious of all…an immediate and extended family that ‘care’ about each other and support each other.

God has truly blessed us, guided and sustained us throughout the years. Faith has carried me through the times when I thought I couldn’t make it even with family to help. It is my hope and prayer that the ‘connectedness’ we feel continues in all the years ahead. And, also, I pray that God’s love surrounds us, guides us, and that we feel the assurance that He will always be there and we can always rely on His promises.