Two things occurred this past week that have made me think about my life and the things that have happened during these many, many years.

First of all, in one of my Bible Study classes, we have been discussing how we often feel as though God has closed a door on something in our lives. We might feel disturbed, puzzled, or maybe even very sad because we can’t understand that something we’ve worked for, prayed for, and tried to bring about just doesn’t come to pass.

Keeping that in mind, the second thing that caused me to do a little more thinking about my past was the fact that each year two of our Women’s Guild members are responsible for a program at one of our meetings. It is entitled “Life Stories” and we share our life to date…the ups and downs…the good and the bad.

The first thing that came to my mind was how in the world does anyone share a life of over 80 years in 15 minutes. (I may have run over my time a bit)

I found myself thinking about my life and both the good and the bad things that have occurred. I neglected sharing the loss of my parents and also the loss of what would have been our only son when something went drastically wrong with the pregnancy. I’m not sure why but perhaps I didn’t feel I could answer any questions without feeling the old emotions well up again.

Anyway, let me get back to ‘closed doors’. As I was thinking about my life, for the first time I looked at what had happened in terms of doors closing. I remember my high school days and that in my senior year I began working a few hours a week at a local bank.

When graduation came, I was offered a part-time scholarship to Washington University, but money wasn’t readily available and I had a job so my father suggested I let the scholarship go to someone else and continue with my job. Did I feel sadness or any bitterness? I don’t think so but I remember feeling a bit sad and I shed some tears. Was that a door closing on a wonderful opportunity? I don’t guess I’ll ever know because life went on in spite of disappointment.

And a funny thing happened. The bank at which I was working (doing mostly bookkeeping) suddenly had another opening. A woman who had been secretary to the President of the bank for sixteen years suddenly left. I recall him coming to the back where we worked and said he needed to dictate a few letters and who could take dictation. I replied that I could and he said, “Come with me to my desk.” And so began something new that I had never thought about but which turned out to be a wonderful opportunity to meet so many people and to work for and with a kind and considerate boss. I know that when I left after Bill returned from the Army, my boss gave me a gift and said if he’d had a daughter, he wished she’d have been like me. I cried but then tears come easily sometimes.

So if a door had closed, it was apparent that another door had opened. Maybe my plans don’t hold top priority. Perhaps sometimes God has other plans.

I also recall when Bill gave me an engagement ring. He had already been drafted into the Army during the Korean conflict. But we promised my parents we wouldn’t get married until he was discharged. I was to continue working and he’d come home weekends to see me when he could. He was stationed in Camp Atterbury, Indiana, and he’d get to my home about 5 or 6 on a Saturday evening. We’d drive up to see his folks in Fosterburg for a bit, see a few friends, go to church Sunday morning and then he’d be gone right after noon. Now it seems a bit strange but it seemed the perfect solution to us back then. 

However he went to the south for training and when he returned in Sept., he told my folks that since he only had a few more months, he wouldn’t be going overseas and they agreed we could get married. We got the pastor, the church, an organist, a soloist, a hall, and an orchestra all on Sunday before he left for camp. On Monday during my lunch hour, I ordered invitations and after work, my mother, the bridesmaids and I took the streetcar to St.Louis to purchase a wedding gown and bridesmaid’s gowns. We had our big wedding a couple days short of a month from the September date on Oct. 13.

What has this to do with ‘closed doors’? Well let me share what happened. I thought I’d be moving to Indiana for a few months to be with him and then we’d find a place to live when he came home. But the week before the wedding, he got new orders. He was leaving for Korea the first part of December. So our plans were changed. The door closed and I worked at my job and stayed at home with my parents until he returned a year later.

Perhaps the door closed, but our marriage proved to be a long and happy one and maybe we matured a bit and I’m sure the letters we wrote each day gave us new insight into the thoughts of each other.

One letter did cause a bit of a meltdown for me. I had been raised on a farm and vowed I’d never ever be a farm wife. Suddenly Bill was saying he didn’t want to go back to his job but rather he preferred farming. I cried. I was angry. I was frustrated. But my dear mother let me have my ‘meltdown’ and then suggested I look at it from another point of view. She said, “If someone is working hard at a job they hate, eventually they will become unhappy and that will make the spouse unhappy also.” She asked, “Couldn’t you try this lifestyle and see if you can adjust. I did try and I guess I adjusted because the marriage lasted over fifty years until God called him home.

The door to what I wanted was shut, but the door that opened gave me a wonderful life, two beautiful children, and many, many blessings.

One more illustration of a door closing and I’ll stop. This is an article not a book.

The year my oldest daughter was a year old was the year that this area had a terrible drought. We had no crops to speak of and that meant a very limited income. We had only farmed one year and this was the second. We had milk, butter, eggs and things I’d canned. It was for sure we wouldn’t starve but there are other expenses and I was no longer working. When we were sure the door had closed on the dream of ‘farming’, someone offered Bill a job. And he was paid the magnificent pay of $1.00 an hour. But it seemed always to be enough. Perhaps the door of prosperity seemed a pipe dream, but there was the security of being ‘cared for’ and that seemed to be enough to make us ‘keep on keeping on’.

I suppose I could relate ‘oodles’ of doors opening and closing as could each of you, but what I think I’ve learned through this journey of life is this…the journey may not always be exactly as we dreamed or hoped it would be, but there is one certainty.

And that is, “We are never asked to make that journey alone.” 

There is a God who loves us and will make the journey with us if we but let him into our life. As for me, I could never have weathered some of the storms of life without God to hold me in ‘his everlasting arms’ to comfort me and give me the courage to face the tomorrows that life held.

Even when I’ve messed up, I know that God doesn’t cease loving me and He waits patiently for me to turn back to Him. His forgiveness makes it possible to move on again with hope for a better tomorrow.

We are never alone. Doors may seem to shut on hopes and dreams, but there is always another door that opens and God stands ready and waiting to usher us into a new beginning that might appear to be frightening, but never is when we travel with God as our guide.

I guess I’ve learned that all things really are possible with God. And I’d say that’s the best insurance (or perhaps assurance) that we could ever need.